Just a few of those that I agree with/find funny.
You know you're an auditor when...
- Your favourite words in the whole wide world are “no further work proposed”.
- You don’t need to pay for a gym membership as you get a full work-out every day from lifting your case of files.
- Hot-desking means that you get to your own office an hour before you start work so that you don’t end up sitting on the floor.
- You have on occasion cried because a balance sheet didn’t balance.
- At some point in your life you have either been criticised or criticised someone else for stapling a page in the wrong corner, failing to underline a title, or hole-punching inconsistently.
- Your response to every question is, “How did we do it last year?”
- When people at parties ask what you do for a living, you prefer to tell them you work in the financial services sector.
- You don’t think it seems futile to work your arse off for a week in order that a partner can issue a report, the outcome of which was already set in stone before you started.
- Nothing in your life is ever reasonable, it only *appears* so.
- You know the collection of paper in your locker and the collection of files on your hard drive are breaking an ISA, but you’ve still not come to terms with the fact that you need to destroy them.
- You thank your clients profusely for providing you with pieces of paper which they’re paying you to ask them to provide.
- You are accomplished at counting small, pointless pieces of metal or plastic without questioning what they are.
- You worry about getting a Vitamin D deficiency because you sometimes don’t see daylight for weeks on end as your client has allocated you a desk in the windowless stationery cupboard.
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