The Shawshank Redemption

Watched this yesterday. It's a super long show - worth a watch if you're patient enough. I was shown an extract of it once before; probably when I took Sociology in poly. It was about being institutionalized.

"Dear fellas, I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry.

The parole board got me into this halfway house called "The Brewer" and a job bagging groceries at the Foodway. It's hard work and I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much.

Sometimes after work, I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello, but he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doin' okay and makin' new friends.

I have trouble sleepin' at night. I have bad dreams like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Foodway so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus.

I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense any more. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me." - Brooks

Spending a long time in anything builds these walls around you. You feel safe in them. Once you're out, that's when all the feelings of insecurity and fear start pouring in. Safety/security is a primary need in Maslow's heirarchy. You can hardly do anything else without it.
I wish I had someone to protect me.
We're moving into the fourth month of the year and i'm still, on occasion, an insecure, emotional mess. I'm okay most of the time. I just wish these emo episodes would stop occurring.
& I wish there was someone I could call mine.
"Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." - Red
I don't know why it hurts.
It depends, doesn't it? If you're hoping for something that's possible to achieve yourself, then hope can be a huge motivation.
But it does.
But if you're hoping for something that isn't up to you. Yes. It can drive you insane.