Got this in an email.
Our Birth is our Opening Balance
Our Death is our Closing Balance
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account
Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents
Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately
Showing posts with label accounting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label accounting. Show all posts
Friday, June 4, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Bored in 202.
Just a few of those that I agree with/find funny.
You know you're an auditor when...
- Your favourite words in the whole wide world are “no further work proposed”.
- You don’t need to pay for a gym membership as you get a full work-out every day from lifting your case of files.
- Hot-desking means that you get to your own office an hour before you start work so that you don’t end up sitting on the floor.
- You have on occasion cried because a balance sheet didn’t balance.
- At some point in your life you have either been criticised or criticised someone else for stapling a page in the wrong corner, failing to underline a title, or hole-punching inconsistently.
- Your response to every question is, “How did we do it last year?”
- When people at parties ask what you do for a living, you prefer to tell them you work in the financial services sector.
- You don’t think it seems futile to work your arse off for a week in order that a partner can issue a report, the outcome of which was already set in stone before you started.
- Nothing in your life is ever reasonable, it only *appears* so.
- You know the collection of paper in your locker and the collection of files on your hard drive are breaking an ISA, but you’ve still not come to terms with the fact that you need to destroy them.
- You thank your clients profusely for providing you with pieces of paper which they’re paying you to ask them to provide.
- You are accomplished at counting small, pointless pieces of metal or plastic without questioning what they are.
- You worry about getting a Vitamin D deficiency because you sometimes don’t see daylight for weeks on end as your client has allocated you a desk in the windowless stationery cupboard.
You know you're an auditor when...
- Your favourite words in the whole wide world are “no further work proposed”.
- You don’t need to pay for a gym membership as you get a full work-out every day from lifting your case of files.
- Hot-desking means that you get to your own office an hour before you start work so that you don’t end up sitting on the floor.
- You have on occasion cried because a balance sheet didn’t balance.
- At some point in your life you have either been criticised or criticised someone else for stapling a page in the wrong corner, failing to underline a title, or hole-punching inconsistently.
- Your response to every question is, “How did we do it last year?”
- When people at parties ask what you do for a living, you prefer to tell them you work in the financial services sector.
- You don’t think it seems futile to work your arse off for a week in order that a partner can issue a report, the outcome of which was already set in stone before you started.
- Nothing in your life is ever reasonable, it only *appears* so.
- You know the collection of paper in your locker and the collection of files on your hard drive are breaking an ISA, but you’ve still not come to terms with the fact that you need to destroy them.
- You thank your clients profusely for providing you with pieces of paper which they’re paying you to ask them to provide.
- You are accomplished at counting small, pointless pieces of metal or plastic without questioning what they are.
- You worry about getting a Vitamin D deficiency because you sometimes don’t see daylight for weeks on end as your client has allocated you a desk in the windowless stationery cupboard.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, March 30, 2009
Random shiz.
Life is a balance sheet.
You will have assets - the good. You will have liabilities - the bad.
But what makes it balance is what you put into it - owner's equity.
Just some extremely random crap that resulted from a random comment in MSN.
You will have assets - the good. You will have liabilities - the bad.
But what makes it balance is what you put into it - owner's equity.
Just some extremely random crap that resulted from a random comment in MSN.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
More expenses
Facial - $150
Today.
KS's birthday present - $_ _
End of January.
All my friends' 21 birthdays - $ZOMGWTFBBQ
Next year. GG man.
I still want to go shopping T_T
Today.
KS's birthday present - $_ _
End of January.
All my friends' 21 birthdays - $ZOMGWTFBBQ
Next year. GG man.
I still want to go shopping T_T
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Expenses
Sony Ericsson C905 - $600
Cash outflow expected within this month/January
Hong Kong trip - $900
Cash outflow expected middle of next year
Bintan trip - $300 [not confirmed]
Cash outflow expected some time next year
Hi, i'm a first-year Accountancy undergraduate from Nanyang Business School. Anyone wants to hire me?
Yes, i'm doing the HK thing because i'm envious of Sam & Dine's pictures. I didn't join them for Taiwan because i had made plans before that, and my plans eventually turned out to be a flop, so GRARRGH.
Just some considerations.
- Disneyland or shopping? I'm so tempted to try staying in the Disneyland hotel, but i'm sure it's going to be a lot more expensive and it'll be quite inaccessible to the city area, as compared to a hotel which is near Tsim Sha Shui/Mong Kok.
- Sightseeing or playing? I'm not really interested in going to see all the attractions, but i'm sure KS would want to. Shopping and Disneyland are a must, so we'll have to balance between those.
- Guided tour or F&E? I'd much prefer the flexibility of a F&E tour, but that might mean that there's a possibility of missing out nice stuff if i don't do the adequate research.
- SIA/Cathay or budget airlines? Safety/comfort or money?
- When to go, and for how many days? Need to find a common time where we're both on holiday, most likely to be around July. I'm thinking 4D3N, because 3D2N seems a little short [the middle day will definitely be spent in Disneyland, the rest will probably be shopping or something, which means not much time for sightseeing]. This will also depend on all the above factors.
I can't wait to go on holiday :)
Cash outflow expected within this month/January
Hong Kong trip - $900
Cash outflow expected middle of next year
Bintan trip - $300 [not confirmed]
Cash outflow expected some time next year
Hi, i'm a first-year Accountancy undergraduate from Nanyang Business School. Anyone wants to hire me?
Yes, i'm doing the HK thing because i'm envious of Sam & Dine's pictures. I didn't join them for Taiwan because i had made plans before that, and my plans eventually turned out to be a flop, so GRARRGH.
Just some considerations.
- Disneyland or shopping? I'm so tempted to try staying in the Disneyland hotel, but i'm sure it's going to be a lot more expensive and it'll be quite inaccessible to the city area, as compared to a hotel which is near Tsim Sha Shui/Mong Kok.
- Sightseeing or playing? I'm not really interested in going to see all the attractions, but i'm sure KS would want to. Shopping and Disneyland are a must, so we'll have to balance between those.
- Guided tour or F&E? I'd much prefer the flexibility of a F&E tour, but that might mean that there's a possibility of missing out nice stuff if i don't do the adequate research.
- SIA/Cathay or budget airlines? Safety/comfort or money?
- When to go, and for how many days? Need to find a common time where we're both on holiday, most likely to be around July. I'm thinking 4D3N, because 3D2N seems a little short [the middle day will definitely be spent in Disneyland, the rest will probably be shopping or something, which means not much time for sightseeing]. This will also depend on all the above factors.
I can't wait to go on holiday :)
Monday, October 20, 2008
Accounting/Auditing Jokes
Top 3 Worst Pick-Up Lines for Accountants [actually Top 10 but i cut down]
3) I'd do just about anything to see your GAAP.
2) Can I put my substance all over your form?
...and the #1 worst accounting pick-up line is...
1) So, how do you feel about things in arrears?
Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file, and that's what he did last year.
Q: Why did the auditor cross back?
A: So that he could charge travel expenses to the client!
Q: What's an auditor?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
A: Depreciation. [LOL]
Got it from this Facebook group. It's so funny because they're all so true x)
Simple explanations for non-Accounts/Audit peeps:
- GAAP stands for Generally Accepted Accounting Principles, which is the standard for Accounting in the US.
- Substance over form is a concept in one of those GAAPs.
- Arrears means owing.
- They always say that auditors merely refer to their past-year working papers and just follow what they did previously without regards to new circumstances and information.
- And also that they charge all sorts of random expenses to their clients.
- Depreciation is like a theoretical using up of a fixed asset e.g. machinery. Each year its value drops because it has been used.
3) I'd do just about anything to see your GAAP.
2) Can I put my substance all over your form?
...and the #1 worst accounting pick-up line is...
1) So, how do you feel about things in arrears?
Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file, and that's what he did last year.
Q: Why did the auditor cross back?
A: So that he could charge travel expenses to the client!
Q: What's an auditor?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
A: Depreciation. [LOL]
Got it from this Facebook group. It's so funny because they're all so true x)
Simple explanations for non-Accounts/Audit peeps:
- GAAP stands for Generally Accepted Accounting Principles, which is the standard for Accounting in the US.
- Substance over form is a concept in one of those GAAPs.
- Arrears means owing.
- They always say that auditors merely refer to their past-year working papers and just follow what they did previously without regards to new circumstances and information.
- And also that they charge all sorts of random expenses to their clients.
- Depreciation is like a theoretical using up of a fixed asset e.g. machinery. Each year its value drops because it has been used.
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