The Rainbow Bridge - for Samantha.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Why I like my electives more than my core.

"When we care about another person, we invest time, energy, thought, and feelings in interaction. In doing this, we invest ourselves in others. ... Investments are powerful because they are personal choices to give things that can't be recovered. ... The more we invest in a relationship, the more difficult it is to end it." - Communication Mosaics, Julia T. Wood

And in my BL245 lesson last week, we learnt about the $20 auction.

Here's how the game is played. You are bidding for $20. You can bid an additional $1 above each previous bid - simple, just like normal bidding. Except, the person who wins the bid pays the amount he bidded in return for the $20. But the second highest bidder has to pay the amount he bidded, but get nothing in return.

How high do you think the highest bid for this $20 ever went?

"Take the experiment run by Harvard Business School professor Max Bazerman. Over the past decade, Bazerman has auctioned off a $20 bill to students as part of a class he teaches. Using strict logic, nobody would bid over $20, but the auctions have reached over $400 as participants get caught in the game of trying to come out on top." - Eyes on the Prize

As accountants, we learn not to take sunk costs into account.

But that's not how people work.

Thoughts.

It just feels like i'm screwing everything up.

Been skipping lessons to study by myself, but it's not like i'm actually a lot more productive than if I had been in school. I'm procrastinating all the time, and i'm not proud of it. I'm just not motivated to do anything at all.

It's not that i'm not concerned over my future and what my grades in school directly affect. Ironically, that's probably the reason why i'm no longer motivated in my schoolwork.

I hate what i'm studying. I really don't want to be doing this all my life. Yes, i've spent the past 6 years of my life getting myself professionally trained in this field, and at the end of it, I realise that this isn't what I want to do after all. At the end of it, I realise that all I did was spend 6 years of my life on a backup plan.

But what is it that I want to do?

Honestly, i'm scared about my future. Compared to my peers, i'm pretty much a worthless piece of crap with no direction in life. I hate it whenever people ask me where i'm going. Almost everyone has a job waiting for them the moment they graduate.

Some of my friends tell me not to worry, and that i'll definitely find a job since I have a diploma and a degree. Yeah, but that's not what i'm worried about. I'm pretty much guaranteed a 8 to 6 office job where i'll spend the rest of my life crunching numbers in a corner of the office. I'll definitely earn enough to get by.

But I know I won't be happy.

Your take?

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

-

A random happy - Just did my first successful skater cut yay!

Come to think about it.

I can't tell if I am happier now or at the beginning of the year.

Funny how that's a difficult choice to make, considering I was basically sinking into depression at the beginning of the year.

You cannot go back in time, even if you wish it with every fiber of your being, your heart and soul, even if you think about it every day. Trust me. I know.

One sentence I never thought i'd write.

I'm studying with J at the National Library right now.

No, seriously. We're actually doing work.

O_O

I'm starting to see a pattern.

Open word document.
Write title and name.
Stare into space.
Sound horn.
Check twitter.
Go back to word document.
Write a paragraph.
Stare into space.
Sound horn - only it's not time yet.
Take out cards.
Put cards back.
Check twitter.
Go back to word document.
Write a paragraph.
Stare into space.
Sound horn.
Take out cards.
Put cards back.
Check twitter.
Type a blog entry.