How nice it would be

To fly away on a plane. Or watch planes fly by. I like planes.

Or maybe i don't. Planes mean somebody's going away.

Tonight...

Tonight... i realised.

I realised that even if you put in effort to phrase your words nicely so that people won't take offense, there will still be some people who do.

I realised that even at the point where you're merely explaining and not even attempting to defend yourself, there will still be some people who want to trample all over you until you surrender to something that isn't even your fault.

I realised that the person who isn't supposed to be hurting you is the one that hurts you the most.

And. I realised. I still need a proper way to vent. Without hurting myself.


I'm lying. I realised all this ages ago. I don't know if this is perseverance or plain stupidity.

*headdesk*

loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
you know what's sian
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
i went to challenger
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
then the assistant asked me what model number my printer was
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
i told him HP 1005
jiawei. ` ...& 4¼ months to ORD. says:
u gave wrong ar
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
no first i said i was looking for HP toner
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
then he asked me for the model NUMBER so i said 1005
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
it's actually P1005
jiawei. ` ...& 4¼ months to ORD. says:
LOL
jiawei. ` ...& 4¼ months to ORD. says:
GG
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
but he said NUMBER so i thought maybe all of the printers got the same letter, like P stands for printer or something
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
so i didn't tell him
jiawei. ` ...& 4¼ months to ORD. says:
my jie u noe wad's gg
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
and he gave me the toner for 1005
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
and he asked me whether i was sure
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
i said yes
jiawei. ` ...& 4¼ months to ORD. says:
=.=
loretta. ` live. love. believe. says:
i know what the meaning of fucked up is
jiawei. ` ...& 4¼ months to ORD. says:
lol cool down

After you're done laughing, please consider helping me ask around if anyone needs a HP 15A laserjet toner. For HP LaserJet models: 1000, 1005, 1200, 1220, 3300, 3380. It cost me an effing $99 and i don't want it to go to waste.

No, there's no effing P or any other letter of the alphabet in and around those numbers.

Thunder and Blazes/Entry of the Gladiators

Code Edge 2 Heats

WE GOT INTO FINALS.

HOW AH.

What's big, green, and sits in a corner?

Highlight below for answer:
The Incredible Sulk.

Okay fine not funny.


Edit: Latest news! Did you hear about the escape of one of the IMH patients? The fella's known to be dangerous. Huge posters have been put up. If you've spotted the fella, do call 6426-7426 (6-I-AM-SIAO).

Scary right!

I look out my window

And the sun is shining. The trees are nice and green. There's a ship sailing slowly across the waters.

It's going to be a wonderful day ahead :)

Too many things i want to say

But not the right time to say it. It's something that i've been thinking about for a very long time; possibly ever since i even started, but i just let things be. Okay, i'll stop beating around the bush.

pas·sion /ˈpæʃən/ [pash-uhn]
–noun
6.
a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.

hob·by1 /ˈhɒbi/ [hob-ee]
–noun, plural -bies.
1.
an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation: Her hobbies include stamp-collecting and woodcarving.

From dictionary.com.

And many of the things i want to talk about currently boils down to this one point:
Dancing is my hobby. It was when i started, it still is now, and as all hobbies do, it may or may not continue into the future. All that matters to me is - I enjoy it, so i do it [in line with Thorndike's Law of Effect].

It's just that i'm surrounded by people who have an awesome passion for dance. Naturally there's this certain pressure to keep up; not in ability, but interest. When i try too hard, i start to detest what i'm doing. Then it kinda loses the whole point, doesn't it?

I like dancing. I like House, i like Locking, and i like Popping. But i guess my liking isn't enough to grow into something more than a hobby.

:)

Happy? Not enough. It's totally a mix of joy, gratitude, nostalgia, relief, and so much more.

I met up with my poly friends for dinner today. It was merely for a few hours, but i felt genuinely happy. At moments i practically felt like crying out of joy. The feeling of familiarity that they provided me with was overwhelming, particularly at a time when i'm feeling so out of place and foreign in my new school [which, honestly, isn't exactly new considering i've been there two months... that just makes things worse].

They find it surprising that i'm unable to really fit in. I find it surprising too. It's not like i didn't make an effort. Maybe it just isn't enough.

Okay i don't really want to flood this blog with laments and stuff. I just wanted to mention how happy and thankful i am, to be able to hang out with my dear friends again :)

What to do if you're caught sleeping at your desk.

Experts agree that these are the five best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:

5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."
3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."
2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

AND THE NUMBER ONE BEST THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK...
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen." [Too bad i'm not Christian!]

Thanks to SGClub.

Simple lesson on business - using Lolcats & more

And... the real reason why the market screwed up.
Disclaimer: I'm only kidding. And thanks ICHC.

Messages to various parties

To the $100 i withdrew on Wednesday night:
Goodbye :(

To the week that just passed:
Good riddance. LALALA.

To Boy:
Sorry for the grouchiness and advanced thanks for coming over later.

To Yunning:
Thanks for helping us in the performance! :D

To the recess break:
HELL YEAH.

I survived the week :)

A Student's Worst Nightmare

Except it wasn't in dream form.

I OVERSLEPT ON THE DAY OF A TEST.

I had slept at 2 and set my alarm for 3.15am, with the intention to wake up and continue studying [i had one more chapter i hadn't studied for]. The next thing i knew, the sun was shining outside my window.

The first words out of my mouth were, "Oh f***."

It hasn't ever happened before. I'm just really unlucky for my first time to happen on the day of a test. So anyway i immediately rushed over to school.

Cab fare: $36
Reaching in time to take the test: Priceless

It must have been the dream i was having before i woke up -.- I was dreaming about things that would potentially happen today, like discussing about the Soul Funky performance with Yunning. I guess that made me think that i was already awake and the day was already happening.

That would have been interesting, if it wasn't for the fact that it cost me THIRTYSIX dollars and almost SIXTEEN percent for my Psych module.

I'll go find out about dreams like that, and then blog about it again some other time when my brain's more active.

GRR.

I think it's kinda ironic that i'm here at 12.43am, starting to study for my Psych test later at 9am, and one of the things i have to study about is sleep deprivation.

Yes, i know sleep deprivation before a test is just gonna make my memory worse/lose concentration yadayadayada. Thing is, i don't even have anything to forget. Yay i think one of my better topics will be about sleep deprivation. Like, please ask me about things people can do due to lack of sleep.

Upon coming home, i went into the kitchen, took off one sock, and walked out of the kitchen with the other sock still on before i realised.

Oh guess what. I can blow soap bubbles out of my right nostril :)

Don't laugh at me. I'll bite your head off.

P.S.: For our accounting projects, we need to analyse two companies. And we have to take the share price as at 19 Sept 2008. LOL. Good luck to those with industries that are affected by the Wall Street crash. Mine's transport :D Lalala~

The optimist says...

Yay! 3 more days to the weekend!

Getting through this week is one thing.
Getting through this week, then looking back without saying, "Damn, i screwed up," is another thing.

The pessimist in me says, "...Fuck."

Deviance

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them? ~Leo Durocher

I'm basically going to copy stuff from Wiki because i don't feel like saying anything currently [although yes i've talked about deviance quite a number of times in my other blogs/journals already]. So, umm, yeah. Just a simple post about random stuff :D

"Deviations are not deviant by nature, but are caused when institutions arbitrarily institute particular prescriptions or proscriptions. Therefore, deviation is simply what is defined as not normal by norms, values, or laws."

Merton's Strain Theory
Conformist: Accepts cultural goals and the 'right' means to achieve them.
Innovator: Accepts cultural goals but achieves them in a different way.
Ritualist: Rejects cultural goals but goes about doing stuff the 'right' way.
Retreatist: Rejects cultural goals and institutional means.
Rebel: Seeks new cultural goals and means.

I'm glad i'm among a group of people who all strive to be different :)

But then again, are people deviating to conform? As in, like, everyone wants to be different, so i have to be different to be like everyone else.

Zzz -.-

Do not feed pigeons

Excuses, excuses...

I need to do my IT assignment, but i have to download the MS Office 2007 trial before i can. Since i'm online, i might as well do other important stuff like go on Facebook and play Elven Blood for about half an hour while it's downloading.

I have to print out 2 more annual reports, but i'm feeling sorry for my printer and the paper in it. It needs a rest. So while it's resting, maybe i should rest too :)

I have to read up stuff for Comm Fund, but i don't have the book and the library is about 5 minutes' walk too dang far away. That doesn't mean i can slack! I have to make extra effort to brush up on my communication skills. So i have to talk to as many people as i can on MSN. I know, i know, so hardworking 0:)

I've got an IT presentation that i need to do research on. I've already started! I Googled some pages, and favourited them without reading anything in them.

I have an Accounting test on Wednesday night. But what to study?! I tried reading 3 pages of the textbook already.

The only thing i'm actually interested in doing is to study for my Psych test on Thursday morning. But i'm guilty for not doing the rest of the things i have to do, so i'm not gonna let myself study for it until i finish doing everything else.

GG la.

Learned Helplessness

Let me share something i learnt in Psych about learning. It's something called 'learned helplessness'.

It was accidentally discovered by this person called Seligman around the time Don Campbell invented the lock [late 1960s]. Basically there were 3 different groups of dogs. The 1st group was the control group and was just harnessed with nothing happening to them. The 2nd and 3rd group of dogs were subject to the same electric shocks. The dogs in the 2nd group were able to stop the shocks by pressing on some lever thingy, whereas the dogs in the 3rd group had no control at all over the shocks. If it stopped, it was thanks to the dogs in the 2nd group, but otherwise, the shocks were just random and there was nothing they could do about it.

So anyway, all 3 groups of dogs were then put into a box with a low hurdle thingy that they could easily jump over. When subjected to the electric shock, the dogs in the 1st group jumped over the hurdle thingy and escaped the shock. The dogs in the 2nd group also jumped over to escape.

However, the dogs in the 3rd group appeared distressed, but simply remained where they were and accepted the shock. Why did this happen? They had learnt previously that they could not escape the shock and believed that they were helpless in this situation too. Therefore, they didn't even bother trying.

BUTTT.

A number of the dogs in the 3rd group actually attempted to jump over the hurdle thingy, and they managed to escape! Despite all the previous failed attempts at escaping, they still continued trying.

That's optimism.

I choose to be like those dogs who continued to try. How about you? :)

Math skills are inborn =o

Humans have an inborn, intuitive grasp of numbers that varies sharply from one person to the next and is closely linked to advanced math skills, according to a newly-released study.

In experiments with teenagers in the United States, scientists discovered that children whose "approximate number system" (ANS) was highly developed were also good in school-taught mathematics from an early age.

The ability to roughly estimate quantities in the blink of eye - without any training - has also been found in monkeys, rats and four-month-old infants, and probably has deep evolutionary roots, says the study.

"It is difficult to overstate the importance of the 'number sense' for all kinds of animals," says lead researcher Justin Halberda, a cognitive scientist at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland.

"Maximizing your search for food, finding a seat on the bus, recognizing the difference between a mating call and an alarm call in a particular species of bird by the number of warbles - all of these require the ANS," he explains.

Previous research had shown that an innate sense of numbers is entirely controlled by a non-verbal region of the brain called the intraparietal sulcus.

But to do precise calculations, humans require language, which is governed by another part of the brain.

Halberda and two colleagues tested this hard-wired ability to judge quantities by showing 64 14-year-olds a series of images containing between 10 and 32 dots that were either blue or yellow.

In some images - flashed for only one-fifth of a second - there were twice as many dots of one color.

In other images, however, the ratio was closer to parity with, for example, seven yellow dots and eight blue, and thus much harder to discern.

The results showed a wide variation in the capacity to pick the color with the most dots at least 75 percent of the time, suggesting that some people are simply much better at such lightning-fast "guesstimates".

Even more unexpected, however, was the extent to which the two distinct kinds of number-crunching cognition - ANS and learned mathematics - are linked.

Kids who performed best in the image test were also those who scored the highest in standard math achievement tests, going back almost 10 years to kindergarten.

The same held true at the other end of the spectrum, even after additional factors, such as IQ levels, were taken into account, according to the study, which was published in the London-based science journal Nature.

"What is surprising is that the formal mathematics we work so hard to learn in school ... is related in any way to what a rat is doing when it is out looking for scraps of food, or what you and I are doing when we look for a seat on a bus," says Halberda.

This does not mean that one cannot be good in math without a keen ANS, or that having a strong "number sense" is a guarantee for good grades in school, he adds.

Nor is it clear whether one's ANS can be boosted.

"It remains to be seen if one can improve a student's innate number sense by practice and training, and whether such training will lead to improvements in school math performance," Halberda says.

http://www.asiaone.com/News/Education/Story/A1Story20080911-87118.html

Strength from within

Live. Love. Believe. These three words are extremely powerful. They keep me alive and remind me of who i am. And they make me powerful too.

If you're stressed out by anything, just keep in mind - you've taken all the stress till now. Being able to do that is no mean feat. You should be proud of yourself. Reassure yourself that you're strong. And since you've done so well so far, nothing else is gonna stop you. You are in control of your life, and if you don't want to help yourself, no one else can.

Believe in yourself.

I am proud of myself for taking a step to make my own life better. It's not easy. Really. But eventually, because of what i did, i'll stand to gain.

I've matured mentally. And there's still so much more to learn.

Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ)

Snapshot Report
Self-report Component
Subscale IQ score = 87
Subscale percentile = 19

According to your self-report answers, your emotional intelligence is somewhat poor. People who score like you may at times feel that they have trouble dealing with their own emotions and those of others. They sometimes struggle to overcome difficulties in their lives and they are not always able to control their moods. It may be hard for them to understand how best to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles and reach their goals.

In addition, they find social interactions difficult at times, for several reasons. They may have trouble allowing themselves to get close with others, finding it difficult to be vulnerable enough to establish intimacy or perhaps lacking understanding of, or comfort with, social interactions. Perhaps by working on your problem areas, you can become more confident in dealing with your own emotions and those of others.

(http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=1121)


Well. At least it improved. I'm actually a little surprised because i had thought that my EQ improved quite a bit in the recent months/half a year, and was kinda expecting it to at least be average. Oh well.

I guess i probably suck at interpersonal skills. While i definitely have a lot more friends now, i'd say my list of trusted friends remains at Top 7. I think one significant difference between my trusted friends and other friends is that, if my trusted friends do something i disagree with, i'll tell them. When we get into arguments/have any problems, i insist on thrashing it out with them. I don't mean fight, but discuss calmly and figure out the root of the problem. As for other people, i don't really care. I'd probably just overlook any differences and continue being friends as per normal.

I'd say i'm pretty open about myself and people can easily get stuff out of me, so that's really no biggie. I can tell anyone all the details about me, things that happened, etc. What they usually can't get out of me is what i'm feeling. Particularly if those feelings are negative.

But i still insist that i'm a much happier person now, living my life the way i want to, loving it, believing that things will go the way i want them to :) Life's a game and i'm in control. Woots!

Aww!

An Italian man whose girlfriend left him to become a nun is holding a vigil outside the convent where she is staying in a bid to get her to reconsider.

Heartbroken Daniel Briatore, 21, has vowed to remain camped outside the convent in a bid to win back the love of his life Patrizia Masoero, also 21, after she dumped him a month ago to take religious vows.

He travelled the 300 miles from their hometown of Alassio on the Italian Riviera to the Franciscan convent at Montecassino Abbey, south of Rome. When Patrizia refused to see him he put up a banner on the convent walls reading: "I didn't want to take you away, just talk to you, because I love you".

The nuns immediately took the banner down but Daniel has said he will do "whatever it takes" to get her back, boosted by local villagers who are all said to be backing him.


So sweet! Omggg.

Got it from Arbroath :)

This Too Shall Pass

Once upon a time, there lived a king who tended to feel blue. Whenever he felt content, he would be afraid that it wouldn't last forever. And whenever he felt discontent, he would be afraid that it would last forever.

One night, he had a dream in which he saw a special ring, which he felt would remove his blues, solving his problem once and for all. When he awoke, he asked his advisors to find him the ring. But none of them could find it. The wisest advisor then decided to get a jeweller, to create a ring which fitted the king's description. However, it was actually an ordinary ring. The difference were the few words inscribed onto it - "This too shall pass."

When it was announced that the ring was found, the king received it with great anticipation. As he sees and reflects on the words it, his sorrows suddenly gave way to joy, as his joys gave way to sorrow, before they both gave way to equanimity... which is the balanced state of mind that has neither attachment to joy nor aversion to sorrow. Thereafter, when he felt discontent, he would look at the ring to remind him of its words of truth. The king had finally found peace.

How did the king find peace? It was through his realisation that both worldly joys and sorrows are fleeting in nature, even if some experiences last for relatively longer times. The source of his real sorrow was not that joys always eventually give way to sorrow. The root of the problem lies in his attachment to joys and his aversion to sorrows, and his refusal to accept the truth that both are transient in nature, that joy and sorrow will always alternate.

It is making peace with the truth of the impermanence of our experiences that brings True Happiness, which should not be mistaken as the normal "highs" of life. No one can sustain "delirious happiness" for extended periods, just as no one can sustain "manic depression" indefinitely. Things change - whether we like it or not, whether we accept it or not.

Deep down, we know True Happiness is the "real joy" beyond ordinary joy - which is why we find the Buddha's calm and composed smile so pleasingly soothing. The Buddha had already realised True Happiness. Will you too?

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thedailyenlightenment-realisation/message/266

Mom forwarded this to me in an email. The first thing i thought after i read it was, "Dang, should have inked these four words instead." But then it wouldn't really make sense because then it'll be as if the tattoo would 'pass' as well. Lol.

I agree with this quite a lot. Been a little stressed recently due to school, but to all the people that i've been complaining to, i also mentioned that i know things will eventually get better :) And yup, that's the way life is :D

Weird thing i noticed

While i was heading back from school today, i noticed that some random guys walking on the street were wearing caps on their heads. No, i don't mean 'on' as in how people normally wear caps. I mean 'on' as in, it's just sitting there such that it looks like the wind could blow it off anytime.

No offense, but personally i think it makes them look like


Oookay, like, what do they do that for? I don't really think that wearing their caps like that would make their brains eventually expand to fill that capacity. Maybe it's for the purpose of protecting their hairdos, so that they wouldn't get their beautiful spiked hair squashed or something.

Hmmm.

Why Mothers Nag

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_274220.html?vgnmr=1

And children never seem to listen.

You realise that your parents nag less about some things. Those are probably the ones where they can still scold and blame you after you've committed the act and learnt your own lesson. At least maybe blaming can make them feel better.

But for some other things, all they can do is nag at you and worry, and hope you'll listen. They try their best to prevent you from doing dumb stuff like that. Grounding. Curfews. All sorts of stuff.

Because they don't want to be facing a situation where even blaming doesn't make them feel any better.

Deja Vu

Yesterday i woke up having this funny feeling that i'd ever thought of what deja vu is before. Then again, i probably did.

Okay not funny i know.

So basically i wiki-ed deja vu. According to Wiki, it's this feeling of familiarity that you get in a situation, like you've been in the exact same situation before, followed by a feeling of eerieness. Often it feels like the same thing happened in a dream and you're acting it out now.

When i was a kid, i used to come up with various 'theories' for these funny feelings of deja vu. Maybe i was simultaneously living in two worlds. Maybe i'm reincarnated, and am replaying my previous life exactly as it was all over again! =o Or maybe i just have this ability to predict stuff in my dreams. Wow. I wish i could =/

According to this guy called Arthur Funkhouser [damn i want his last name], there are three kinds of deja vu - deja vecu, deja senti, and deja visite. Deja vecu means 'already lived', deja senti means 'already felt', and deja visite means 'already visited'. I think the last one's really cool. It's like going to a place that you've never gone before, and yet you find yourself able to navigate around, as if you know that place already.

Some scientific explanations attribute deja vu to stuff like mis-timing of neuronal firing or miscommunication of the two cerebral hemispheres. But of course that's a lot less fun than wondering if you exist in a separate world simultaneously, and for a few moments these two happen to combine or something :D

So yup, that's pretty much it for today's [actually yesterday's] wondering about the world. I wonder what i'll wonder about tomorrow.